Why Is It So Hard to Be Real?

Sitting at coffee one morning, there was a look on my friend's face that I will never forget. It was a look filled with fear. She was carrying such a heavy load of burdens on her shoulders, yet she was afraid to share them.

We had been meeting for coffee for the past several months. We enjoyed each other's company, laughed together, and talked about life. Yet beneath the surface, each of us was carrying something difficult. We held tightly to our burdens because we didn't want to be vulnerable and reveal what was really going on. These weren't small inconveniences; they were painful struggles that weighed heavily on our hearts.

That morning, I felt a nudge to break the pattern. I finally said, "If we are truly friends, then we need to be real and authentic with one another."

At first, there was silence.

Then the walls began to come down.

One by one, we shared the burdens we had fought so hard to hide. The fears, the disappointments, the worries, the heartbreaks. Looking back, I wonder what we were so afraid of. Were we afraid of being judged? Rejected? Misunderstood?

The masks came off, and it wasn't nearly as scary as we thought it would be. In fact, it was freeing.

Instead of finding judgment, we found understanding. Instead of criticism, we found compassion. Instead of carrying our burdens alone, we found women willing to help shoulder the weight.

Looking back on that day, I still see so many women struggling to step into authentic community. I understand why. What if someone gossips? What if they judge me? What if they don't understand? What if I'm the only one struggling? The fears can pile up quickly.

Yet God never intended for us to walk this journey alone.

That is one of the reasons I love the book of Ephesians so much. Throughout this letter, Paul reminds us that we belong to Christ and to one another. He speaks about unity, love, prayer, encouragement, and the incredible blessings we have already received in Christ. At the same time, Ephesians is realistic. It reminds us that while we are deeply loved and richly blessed, we are still living on this side of Heaven. We will face struggles. We will experience hardships. We will need one another.

The Christian life was never meant to be lived in isolation. It was meant to be lived in community.

This October, I am excited to release my newest Bible study, UNFOLDED: Discovering Who You Are in Christ — A Scripture Study on Ephesians. Together, we will explore identity, unity, prayer, grace, and what it means to live as women who are rooted in Christ and connected to one another.

Because sometimes the greatest freedom comes when we stop hiding behind our masks and allow God—and trusted friends—to meet us exactly where we are.

So let me ask you:

What burden are you carrying today that was never meant to be carried alone?