I thought I knew what pride and humility were until I came across the Bible verse Proverbs 11:2, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace."
In a Bible Study I am in we are using a study called, 'Uncommon Sense, A Study on Proverbs'. Here is a quote from the study, "Pride focuses on self, either thinking too much of yourself or too little. It robs others of your gifts because you either use them for selfish ambition or don't use them at all for fear of what others may think. Both sides worry about disgrace."
The lack of confidence I had when I felt God's call to write was so strong. I remember when I shared with my spiritual director, Fr. Steve, about feeling called to write and my lack of belief that anyone would want my study. He said, "It scares me the voice you are listening to." "If God put it on your heart you need to be obedient. The one you are listening to is not of God."
Basically, I was letting pride hold me back from my calling. After completing the manuscript and testing it out with women from my church, they encouraged me to get the study published. It was expensive and I knew once again my response was to say yes, and be obedient.
The publishing company said once the book is published then the work begins. I would have to market myself and my new study. Whether you have a traditional publisher or you self-publish the majority of promoting the book is the responsibility of the author.
So I shyly put on my Facebook page the news about the study. People's responses were encouraging, except for a comment from a youth ministry friend who said I should be more humble when it came to sharing the news. My heart was broken and I felt disgraced, and I was silent.I knew if I didn't talk about the study no one would know about it.
I knew God called me to it and I realized that I had to put myself out there regardless of whether I would be disgraced or not.
Humility recognizes that everyone has gifts and a purpose given to them by God. We are to encourage one another. Pride causes strife and tearing one another apart. It is like what Fr. Steve said, "Be careful the voice you listen to."
If you struggle with this as I had, remember to listen to the voice of God, and take courage to live out your purpose, and do not let the fear of disgrace hold you back.